The Classroom: Where Discipline is the Lesson

Step into The Classroom, a space designed for those who never quite learned their lessons. Here, misbehavior is met with swift correction, and naughty students are dealt with in ways that leave a lasting impression.

Corporal punishment is the preferred method of maintaining order. Caning, over-the-knee spankings, and time spent on the St. Andrew’s Cross enduring CBT and nipple torment are just a few of the behavior modification techniques employed by the strict teachers in charge.

Of course, being Teacher’s Pet requires more than just bringing an apple — it means being at her feet. Foot worship is a required subject, as you soothe tired soles while the lesson continues.

And for those who fail to keep up, there’s always a place for the class fool. Whether it’s sitting on a stool in the corner with a dunce cap or spending time at the blackboard writing, “I am an idiot” over and over, there’s no escaping the consequences of poor performance.

Be warned: there are no snow days, holidays, or summer breaks in this school. Class is always in session. Admissions are now open — take your seat… if you dare.

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